oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Randomize
