He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
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i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
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Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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