please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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