So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize