im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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