i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
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