i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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