As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
