Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
