Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Your cock deserves a montage
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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