I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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