The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
