Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
only if we run a train.
done.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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