She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
