You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
