I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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