I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
