he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
