Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
