He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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