Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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