She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
