Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I looked at my own cervix.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
