conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
