She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
only you would photoshop your dick
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
