perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
