I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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