3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
