i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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