So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
