I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
