My liver just broke up with me...
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
