did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
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She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
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Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
i think we sleep fucked last night...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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