He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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