I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
