I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
