apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
