I can tuck mytits in my pants
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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