Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
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went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
How does one acquire holy water?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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