idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
