i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
