GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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