I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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