Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
