hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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