If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
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I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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