I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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