I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
