Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
