I seem to have left my pride at pride
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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