He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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