So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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