The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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