some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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