How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
No subtext here. People are naked.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
