HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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