Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize