It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
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I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
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He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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