you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
my poor anus
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
