I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
