mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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