So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
