either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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