thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
