She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
