Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
