Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
