I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
where does the pee come out of this thing
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
