the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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