Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
