So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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