we're chasing vodka with high fives
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
