just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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