Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize