Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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